Divorce Counseling

Has a recent divorce or separation turned your world upside down?

• Are you feeling overwhelmed and isolated after a recent breakup?
• Are you having a hard time adjusting to being single again?
• Do you feel really lonely or a hollowness in your heart?
• Is it hard to reengage with the world?
• Are you feeling depressed or extremely angry or both?
• Does the thought of running into your ex with another partner feel unbearable?
• Are you withdrawn and having a difficult time coping?

Most people experience a whole range of painful emotions when they go through the end of a marriage or important intimate relationship.

Going through a divorce or breakup is often extremely stressful. If your partner had an affair or was the one to want out, you may be deeply hurt, shocked or angry. It is not uncommon to have vengeful thoughts or self-critical ones such as “I am a failure,” or “I am no longer attractive.” If you were the one to initiate the divorce or got involved with someone else, you may feel a storm of conflicting feelings as well, including guilt and confusion. It is likely that both people will have some mixture of fear, anxiety, depression, anger, shame, or guilt. And in the midst of this emotional turmoil, you are being required to adjust from life as a couple to being single again. If children are involved, they will need extra love, support and reassurance when your own resources are very thin. Not an easy task!

Divorce counseling can help you process your feelings, understand what happened and make the transition to being single much easier.

Therapy can help you express your feelings in a safe place, make sense of what happened, and regain your sense of self-worth again. It can also help you find healthy ways to cope with the barrage of intense emotions you may be feeling. You will receive the compassion, understanding and support you need at a time when you most need it. If you have children, regular therapy will help you keep your own cup filled so that you can be there for them during this rocky period. In time, you can begin to explore new possibilities and next steps for your life ahead.

A divorce is a pivotal life event, and although going through it can be quite painful, a therapeutic relationship can make it easier. It can also help you use what has happened to grow and develop as a person, preparing yourself for a rich and satisfying life going forward.

I specialize in relationship counseling in Longmont and Boulder, Colorado. For over 25 years, I have been helping people who are struggling with relationship issues. My approach is holistic, and includes Nonviolent Communication, Focusing-oriented therapy, Gestalt, cognitive and somatic therapies. Since you are unique, I choose the modalities that work best for you and your situation.

My focus is to help you develop a compassionate and accepting relationship with yourself first, no matter what you have done or are going through. From there, I gently guide you to be present with yourself in such a way that the wisdom of your heart and body can reveal itself and provide what is needed to heal and move forward. I also provide you with coping skills and a more objective perspective as you move through this often difficult and confusing period. No matter what your sexual, spiritual or cultural orientation, I welcome you!

Divorce counseling can assist you to:

• Work through painful emotions
• Gain a different perspective
• Grieve the ending of the relationship
• Learn helpful coping skills
• Reestablish your trust in yourself
• Clarify what you want most in this next phase of your life
• Know more about yourself and what you value
• Develop self-compassion and self-forgiveness as a habit

You may believe that therapy can help you recover and open your heart to life again, but you still have questions or concerns. Following are some questions and answers that may help you.

Questions and Answers:

We’re in the process of divorcing now, and I feel like an emotional wreck. Won’t talking about it make it worse?

When we are under stress, our minds often keep recycling the same painful thoughts and feelings over and over again. Emotions tell us a lot about our unmet needs and the things we may be believing about ourselves and the situation. In sessions, I work with you to transform your feelings. We do this together by differentiating the story you are telling yourself from what actually happened, without judgment. Helping you stay embodied as you feel your emotions assists them to move through more easily as well. I also help you identify the core needs and values that are at the root of your feelings. In and of itself, this can bring tremendous relief and a sense of direction and creativity moving forward. I can also provide you with a more objective point of view and tools you can use between sessions to cope more effectively.

How would therapy be different than talking to a friend?

Friends are often well-meaning, and can be a wonderful support when you are going through something as life changing as divorce. It’s wonderful to have the support of friends and family. But friends don’t usually have the tools, time, or skill to give you the kind of deep attention and therapeutic interventions that a therapist can provide. Seeing a therapist regularly as you go through this difficult time is a wonderful investment in yourself, your future, and your family.

What if I’m still not sure?

A trusting therapeutic relationship is an investment in yourself and your wellbeing. If you would like to get to know me and see if we are a match, simply click on this link to contact me for a free 30-minute consultation.